Path to Purple

“How is a Father supposed to be like?” I wondered.

My friend, IG @meekandlowlyheart , recommended that I consecrate myself to St. Joseph. And I am so glad I finished the 33-day Consecration, ending on All Saints Day. Throughout this journey, I have learned so much more about St. Joseph and have put all my trust in him as my Spiritual Father.

The 33rd day, which is the day I consecrate myself to St. Joseph, was the day that my father followed through with his words and showed that he loved me. God does indeed work miracles.

🙏🏻 𝔄𝔠𝔱 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔖𝔱. 𝔍𝔬𝔰𝔢𝔭𝔥 𝔟𝔶 𝔖𝔱. 𝔄𝔩𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔲𝔰 𝔏𝔦𝔤𝔲𝔬𝔯𝔦 🙏🏻

O Holy Patriarch, I rejoice with you at the exalted dignity by which you were deemed worthy to act as father to Jesus, to give him orders and to be obeyed by him whom heaven and earth obey.

O great saint, as you were served by God, I too wish to be taken into your service. I choose you, after Mary, to be my chief advocate and protector.

I promise to honor you everyday by some special act of devotion and by placing myself under your daily protection.

By that sweet company which Jesus and Mary gave you in your lifetime, protect me all through life, so that I may never separate myself from my God by losing his grace.

My dear St. Joseph, pray to Jesus for me. Certainly, He can never refuse you anything, as He obeyed all your orders while on earth. Tell Him to detach me from all creatures and from myself, to inflame me with His holy love, and then to do with me what He pleases.

By that assistance which Jesus and Mary gave you at death, I beg of you to protect me in a special way at the hour of my death, so that dying assisted by you, in the company of Jesus and Mary, I may go to thank you in paradise and, in your company, to praise my God for all eternity.

Amen.

You told me that this was a blessing in disguise. Your confidence reassured me that I am on the right path. However, I am a weak and flawed human.

I feel so lost.

I feel like God is so far away.

Actually, I don’t know where God is in all this.

I finally voice out how I am truly feeling. You answer something but I forgot what exactly you said. However, right before our phone call ended, you reminded me. Your gentle, but firm voice reminds me what I need to do. Pray. Attend Mass (in person if that is available to me), Confession, etc.

Another person told me, “I’m concerned about you, but I’m not worried about you. You’re going to be okay. Because that’s how you always are.”

Lately, I have been feeling like I do not have a father, a protector of the family. How is a father supposed to be like, I wonder.

Last night, I was attempting to pray at Our Lady of Peace. It was difficult. At some point, I was finally able to hear the quiet. And somehow, my eyes wandered over to the right side of the church and I saw St. Joseph. Sometimes, it is the small moments like this in which God speaks to us.

What you’re chasing after and searching for is Heaven. – Thầy VP, LC

When he said this, I felt both relieved and disappointed.

Relieved that my eyes are set on what I wanted them to be set on.

Disappointed because I know I can never find Heaven here on Earth.

But, Heaven on Earth can only be found in the Mass.

I miss Mass. I especially miss attending Latin Mass.

Today, I went to Our Lady of Peace for Adoration. After I exited the church, a woman behind me said, “That’s a beautiful veil” and that compliment made me so happy.

Another fellow T9 and Sinai 24 Huynh Trưởng from Liên Đoàn Joan d’Arc also regularly wears a gold veil. I brought this gold veil because I was inspired by her and her faith. When I wear this veil, I feel her encouragement from after Cấp 3 when she told me she would pray for me. My gold veil gives me courage to be brave and not be afraid to show my faith.

The veil is indeed beautiful, but not simply because of the golden lace, but also because of what it means to me.

Shelter-In-Place Day 108

Our Lady of Peace allows 10 people inside the church. The only requirements are that you wear a mask, use hand sanitizer before entering, sit in the designated pews, and keep your distance from others.

As I sat and looked at the monstrance, I wondered why did I ever take this for granted. It has been so long.

I prayed. I don’t know how I finally got down to the real question, but I think Jesus helps you see.

Jesus, am I weak?

Monday, June 22.

It is pretty amazing how my previous Spiritual Director can tell how I am doing spiritually through just a simple video call and conversation. And despite how long it has been since we have last met in person.

He was quick to spot where I was lacking. And again, he did so in the most gentle way possible.

You need to take it to prayer.

At the end, he said, “Let’s pray for each other.”

Of course, I’ll pray for you. Always.