Path to Purple

TNTT. Art. Prayer.

Leave a Comment

Go Forth and Set the World on Fire

In 2012, Phong Trào Thiếu Nhi Thánh Thể Việt Nam tại Hoa Kỳ hosted the (currently) only Đại Hội Hiệp Sĩ Toàn Quốc and since then, have not hosted any under-18 conventions. Below is the audio of the original version of the original theme song of Đại Hội Hiệp Sĩ Toàn Quốc.

As I listen to this song, I was taken back to 2012 in Carlinville, IL. I felt the same awe and love in TNTT and in God as I felt back then.

The original version is more upbeat and carries an excitement that cannot be explained by anybody else other than the Hiệp Sĩ that attended the convention. There was indeed so much excitement. Besides it being the first time I stepped on an airplane and a different state besides California, it was also the first time I met people in TNTT from other states. It was the first time I saw how big TNTT really was. It was the first time I saw what TNTT was all about. However, it was during this time that I was truly unsure of my path in TNTT and my Catholic faith. But Đại Hội Hiệp Sĩ Toàn Quốc relit a fire within me that has been dimed for too long and did not know it could be relit. This song reminded me of my love for TNTT.

In the original version, there are two voices. One voice singing the English part and another voice singing the Vietnamese part. The latter voice is my friend. Below is a video of him playing a new version of the original theme song of Đại Hội Hiệp Sĩ Toàn Quốc. 

Today, the new version reminds me of my love for TNTT. I am more confident and sure of my path in TNTT and my faith. In this version, I feel more stable and at peace. But, I also feel the heartache that accompanies my desire to serve God. Maybe it is God’s plan that this song reflects my heart.

Thank you to my friend for taking on my song request and playing this old song that he created with his friend.

Thank you. This song means so much to me.

Leave a Comment

Pray for each other

 

I was feeling defeated, frustrated, and disappointed. I expressed how I felt and my Confessor listened.

Suddenly, my Confessor said, “I’ll pray for you. You don’t have to pray for that anymore.”

As soon as I heard him say that, I felt this invisible burden that I did not know existed lift off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe he was willing to pray for me for something I felt would be considered silly by others, but he was adamant about it.

“Do you trust me to pray for you?” my Confessor asked.

“Yeah, I do,” I answered.

“Okay, but you have to pray for me, too,” he said.

I laughed and said, “I already do pray for you.”

We continued to talk and he ended with, “Now don’t worry about that anymore. Just go and be holy!”

 

Leave a Comment

Confession feelings

Saturday – February 22, 2020

Maybe it was because my previous confession felt rushed and like a chore, but the confession I had with Fr. XXXXXXX felt different. 

One of my Nghĩa Sĩ kids told me about him. “He (Fr. XXXXXXX) gives good advice during confession,” was one of the many compliments he told me. “And he doesn’t focus on the sin. He goes around the sin and tries to find the root of it.”

My Nghĩa Sĩ kid was correct. 

The confession touched the depths of my heart that I try to hide from the world. Before I realized it, I was already crying. It’s been a while since I have felt God’s love this strongly through confession. 

Leave a Comment

#unfiltered

Đoàn Vinh Sơn Liêm’s Nghĩa Sĩ Retreat (2020)

The theme for this retreat was “#unfiltered” and this theme speaks to me in multiple ways. 

I filter myself no matter who I am with. I let people close in enough to think that they know the real me, but they do not truly know me. 

Very few people can accept the real me. 

Very few people see me for me.

albumtemp (1)

Leave a Comment

Latin Mass

December 25, 2018. I thought, “I don’t know if I ever want to attend a Latin Mass ever again.”

It took almost a year before I was able to attend a Latin Mass again.

Now, I have been attending Latin Mass more often recently. Each time, I was easily able to enter into what is truly on my heart due to the silence. 

As I looked up at the altar, I kept asking myself, “What am I really trying to say to you, God?” I was having a difficult time putting words to my feelings. Finally, it came to me.

Is it so wrong to want to gain back control?

Leave a Comment

Sorrowful Mysteries

Tuesday.

It has been a while since I have prayed the rosary and when I did in the past, nothing has caught my attention or stood out. I simply prayed the rosary to calm down and relax.

But I guess my Ignatian prayers have become habitual or natural to me now and so, they eventually crept into my rosary prayer.

The 2nd Sorrowful Mystery: The Scourging at the Pillar

Jesus is stripped and unmercifully scourged until His body is one mass of bloody wounds. (Matt. 27:26)

I thought there is no way that Jesus can understand how I feel. He was a man and I am a woman. But suddenly, I saw that he did. He understood how exactly I felt.

The 3rd Sorrowful Mystery: The Crowning with Thorns

Jesus’ claim to kingship is ridiculed by putting a crown of thorns on His head and a reed in His hand. (Matt. 27:28- 31)

It has been a few years now and this has not changed. In fact, maybe it has gotten worse. All I know is that Jesus understands how I feel and I do not have to feel alone.

The 4th Sorrowful Mystery: Christ Carries the Cross

Jesus shoulders His own cross and carries it to the place of crucifixion while Mary follows Him sorrowing. (Luke 23:26- 32)

My new spiritual director told me to talk to Jesus. Bring my hopes, dreams, and suffering to Him. Especially the suffering part. “I know, I know,” I thought and honestly, I thought I already did. I am no stranger to Ignatian spirituality. But as I prayed this mystery, I saw Jesus carrying the cross, exhausted, breathing heavily, bloody, sweaty. I refused to give it to Him.

In fact, I refused to give it to anybody because I fear it is too much.

Leave a Comment

Here I am, Lord

I have made the stars of night

I will make their darkness bright

Who will bear my light to them?

Whom shall I send?

 

Here I am Lord

Is it I Lord?

I have heard You calling in the night

I will go Lord

If You lead me

 

I will hold Your people in my heart

Due to past and recent events, I was reminded of the past and since then, I have been doubting my past decisions. Maybe I was wrong. I started questioning everything. And then I thought, “But where will I go?” Suddenly, I realized that this was a reminder of what it means to be a Huấn Luyện Viên.