TNTT. Art. Prayer.
As I started my last prayer, I stopped at the 4th Station of the Cross. Why have I not noticed this station? I looked at the Roman Numerals, “IV”. I saw Mary’s face close to Jesus’, almost seemingly the two were having a conversation with words or simply their eyes. Jesus was wearing his crown of thorns and carrying his heavy cross. Mary was looking longingly and worriedly at Jesus. At that moment, I realized my prayer was answered.
Help me feel Your Love.
#TNTT Đoàn Vinh Sơn Liêm: Sa Mạc Thăng Tiến XXXVIII (38)
💛These Nghĩa Sĩ’s first impression of me was that I do semaphore really fast. Now, a couple of them can mentally decode semaphore and some of them can write down and decode the semaphore I perform at my fastest speed. I may need to level up in other areas! 😳 Thank you for a wonderful year with you all! I have been truly blessed to have been your Huynh Trưởng this past year. 💛
The night before heading up to Sacramento for TNTT HT Training Camp, I received news that my grandma has passed away. I tried my best to keep it all together throughout camp despite how many times I actually just wanted to breakdown. I held it all in until I was on the Holy Land Pilgrimage. I missed the funeral mass due to being across the Atlantic Ocean, but I knew that if my grandma was alive, she would have told me to go to the Holy Land and pray for her soul. And I did. And I will continue to do so for the only grandma I ever knew.
Maybe it is only in the moments of being driven into a corner, trapped, with no one to help you, when you realize that, in the end, you only have God.
Original Post from Humans of Santa Clara University
Thao ‘16, School of Engineering
“After witnessing two incidents of corruption, one from leadership at my local parish and another from a teacher in high school, I entered Santa Clara University hoping to re-establish my faith. My first professor here, Sam Conedera, was kind, patient, caring, approachable, and supportive. With each conversation we had, my faith slowly renewed. On these stairs two years ago, I asked him to pray for me. He gently smiled and said, ‘Yes, I will pray for you.’ A week later during office hours, I asked if he had prayed for me. He answered, ‘Yes, I did and I will continue to do so.’ Sam was a huge part of my faith journey. I hope to be a guide like him to others on their faith journey, especially to the kids at my Vietnamese Eucharistic Youth Group.”
Apr 16, 2015
I tried to pray for someone who has betrayed and deeply hurt me. Someone who constantly lied to me despite the many times I gave my trust over and over again. Someone who bad-mouthed me behind my back and right in front of my face.
With great pain and sadness, I asked, “Why?”
And then I heard:
[…] “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
He asked, “Who are you, Lord?”
The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. […]”
-Acts 9: 4-5 (NRSVCE), The Conversion of Saul
I felt a sense of peace as I came back and recognized the Eucharist in front of me.
I was urged to have confession and so I did. It was the first time I was having confession at this church. The line was so long. When it was finally my turn, I said everything that I was advised to confess. The priest in the confessional questioned my sins and basically roasted me for my sins. Confused and filled with rage, I cried. I did not understand why the priest was making me feel worse about my sins when I had already felt terrible about them. I cried for a long time in the confessional and continued having tears in my eyes and tears rolling down my cheeks as I walked out. I finally understood why some people only have confession with a specific priest.
I don’t know if I ever want to have confession ever again.
A couple of weeks later, I had confession with my spiritual director during the 4-day Ignatian Silent Retreat. I specifically chose him to have confession with because, by now, he knew me and I figured he probably would not roast me (or at least not as badly) as the previous priest.
This confession was vastly different from my previous confession.
He did not roast me at all.
Instead, he showed me God’s love and mercy. As he spoke, I felt God comforting me. My spiritual director treated me with kindness and compassion. I cried not because of shame or anger this time, but because my heart was touched by God’s loving embrace. My spiritual director gave me a penance that no other priest had given me before and the penance was one that revealed God’s love.
I think I only want to have confession with this priest from now on.
But I know that’s not possible.
I realized that I was not alone in my suffering.
Song of the Cross · Susan HooKong-Taylor · Ana Da Costa
“Love lifted on the cross for me:
my Lord, my God, my salvation.
Love lifted high to set me free:
my Lord, my God, my salvation.
When I first heard this song, my heart ached. I was not sure why.
I saw myself kneeling below the cross at Golgotha. Was it because I was finally bringing the burdens of my heart to Jesus?
Involuntarily, tears began to fall. There were no words to describe my feelings.